Tag Archives: substance abuse

Moving Out; Moving In; Moving On

by admin Posted on May 12, 2013

Yesterday was May 11. That is significant for two reasons: 1) It was my sober date; and 2) It was my relapse date. Last year, after three years of recovery, I relapsed. On my sober date. It was at a … Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Parties, Regret, Relapse, Self-Care, shame, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, change, chemical dependency, drinking, loss, love, negativity, pain, relationships, self medicating, self pity, self-care, self-talk, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse | 4 Comments

The List, Part I

by admin Posted on January 29, 2013

My sponsor told me months ago that I needed to make a list. A list of all the things I am powerless over. I haven’t made that list. I think it’s time. I don’t know how to do this, this life thing. I am not doing this life thing well at all. But change, it’s too big, daunting. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Expectation, Family, Fear, My Story, Regret, Relapse, Relationships, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, change, chemical dependency, drinking, family, fear, heart ache, negativity, recovery, relationships, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse | Leave a comment

Beached and Mad, But Sober

by admin Posted on January 22, 2013

Today is 7 months sober, round 2. I am here. I’m still standing, in the ring, ready to beat the shit out of something. I kind of like the image of me– remember, I am a cranky, beached humpback whale in jammies–punching and jabbing at this big black amorphous blob (duh, it’s my disease–addiction). Now this is not to imply that I in any way have the upper hand with my addiction. I don’t… Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Books, Emotional Sobriety, Gratitude, Negativity, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attitude, change, chemical dependency, drinking, gratitude, Higher power, love, recovery, self pity, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse | Leave a comment

Gratitude, On the Fly

by admin Posted on December 16, 2012

As I rocked back and forth in a cozy, enveloping recliner this morning, surrounded by other alcoholics and addicts, I felt something that’s been missing — gratitude. It filled my mind, my heart, my soul, my body. It formed an impenetrable, pink bubble about me. I was enshrouded in love. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Gratitude, Holidays, Mindfulness, Service, Spirituality | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, appreciation, attitude, chemical dependency, family, grateful, gratitude, love, mindfulness, recovery, relationships, self-care, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

Finding Gratitude In Garbage

by admin Posted on August 13, 2012

While listening to others in recovery talk Friday night, I was reminded that I need to actively participate in creating joy in my life. That there will always be times that are less than. Less than fun. Less than ideal. Less than happy. And of course, less than perfect. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Fear, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, appreciation, change, chemical dependency, drinking, fear, fun, grateful, gratitude, joy, love, mindfulness, pain, recovery, self pity, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

Addiction: The Disease that Hi(gh)jacks the Brain

by admin Posted on July 12, 2012

As I drove home from an early-morning meeting today, I realized something major. I was thinking about NOTHING. For those of you who haven’t had the exquisite pain and pleasure of experiencing addiction, this probably sounds quite silly. Or negative. For someone like me, with a diseased, addicted brain, it’s absolutely wonderful and miraculous. Continue reading →

Posted in Gratitude, Mental Illness, Mindfulness, Relapse, Self-Care, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, appreciation, attitude, change, chemical dependency, drinking, fun, grateful, gratitude, Higher power, joy, mindfulness, recovery, self-care, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

That’s When He Will Start to Feel Better

by admin Posted on March 23, 2012

When I first sobered up, I was told several things that I had a hard time grasping: 1) It will be okay. Everything will be okay; 2) Letting go makes everything easier; and 3) Service work helps. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Mental Illness, Negativity, Openness, Relationships, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attitude, chemical dependency, family, fear, grateful, gratitude, joy, loss, love, positive thinking, recovery, relationships, self medicating, self pity, service, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | 2 Comments

Detaching with Love

by admin Posted on February 27, 2012

I’ve had the opportunity to have many conversations about that alien creature– detachment– over the past few days. I believe that in their very nature, relationships between humans fall on some spectrum of attachment. But attachment can give way to pathology, codependence, and a whole host of gnarly harms… How and when does this happen? Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attachment, attitude, Buddhism, change, chemical dependency, detachment, family, fear, God, grateful, gratitude, Higher power, joy, loss, love, mindfulness, pain, recovery, relationships, self-care, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

The Perfectionism Assumption

by admin Posted on February 23, 2012

One assumption I carried around for years and must actively continue to challenge day in and day out is that I must be perfect. That only in perfection will I find happiness, love, and respect. What a damaging assumption! Yet it’s not unique. Lots of us, unconsciously perhaps, are programmed to understand imperfection as failure. Continue reading →

Posted in Gratitude, Mental Illness, Mindfulness, My Story, Negativity, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, appreciation, assumptions, attitude, change, chemical dependency, drinking, family, gratitude, humanity, mindfulness, perfectionism, positive thinking, recovery, self-talk, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

Going All Jung on My Own Ass

by admin Posted on February 22, 2012

‘ve been chewing on some of Jung’s material for the past 24 hours. Specifically, his belief that we all go through a process he calls “individuation.” Individuation is, in my opinion, another way to talk about another process I spend a great deal of time pondering– integration. Jung believed that individuation is the path we all take to our own private, individual destinies; the journey through which we form as “whole selves;” a merging of the conscious and the unconscious. Continue reading →

Posted in Books, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Openness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attitude, change, drinking, emotional sobriety, family, fear, God, Higher power, joy, loss, love, mindfulness, negativity, pain, positive thinking, recovery, self pity, self-talk, sobriety, spirituality, story, substance abuse, willingness | 2 Comments