Tag Archives: self-care

Moving Out; Moving In; Moving On

by admin Posted on May 12, 2013

Yesterday was May 11. That is significant for two reasons: 1) It was my sober date; and 2) It was my relapse date. Last year, after three years of recovery, I relapsed. On my sober date. It was at a … Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Parties, Regret, Relapse, Self-Care, shame, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, change, chemical dependency, drinking, loss, love, negativity, pain, relationships, self medicating, self pity, self-care, self-talk, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse | 4 Comments

Coping with Loss

by admin Posted on April 22, 2013

I am suffering. Physically and emotionally. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve thought “fuck everything” today. I know I’ve said it aloud at least twice. I’ve also been querying the Universe, “What is the point?” I … Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Depression, Relationships, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged heart ache, self medicating, self-care | Leave a comment

It Just Kinda Snuck Up On Me

by admin Posted on March 20, 2013

It’s recently come to my attention that I have gained, wait for it… forty pounds. I am around between 5’1″. A 40-pound weight gain for someone my size is alarming. It also prompted me to gasp words I last uttered upon sobering up: How the fuck did I get here? Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Cross Addiction, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Sobriety, Fear, My Story, Self-Care, Service, shame, Spirituality | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, bingeing, drinking, Higher power, recovery, self pity, self-care, self-talk, service, shame, sobriety, spirituality | Leave a comment

Progress, Not Perfect

by admin Posted on January 19, 2013

Typically I go to a meeting on Saturday morning. This morning I decided to stay home with my hot coffee and warm blanket. Now, I don’t want to admit this (because I can already hear the unspoken “I told you so”) but I should have gone to my meeting. If not for myself, for others. We depend on one another to show up and to be of service. This morning I was selfish.
Continue reading →

Posted in Complacency, Gratitude, Happiness, Honesty, Relapse, Self-Care, Service, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, chemical dependency, grateful, gratitude, joy, love, mindfulness, pain, recovery, self-care, sobriety, spirituality | Leave a comment

Gratitude, On the Fly

by admin Posted on December 16, 2012

As I rocked back and forth in a cozy, enveloping recliner this morning, surrounded by other alcoholics and addicts, I felt something that’s been missing — gratitude. It filled my mind, my heart, my soul, my body. It formed an impenetrable, pink bubble about me. I was enshrouded in love. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Gratitude, Holidays, Mindfulness, Service, Spirituality | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, appreciation, attitude, chemical dependency, family, grateful, gratitude, love, mindfulness, recovery, relationships, self-care, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

I Admit It: I Am Terrified

by admin Posted on September 29, 2012

I’ve been flirting with my “wise mind” for the last couple months. What I mean by that is that while I am usually aware that I am reacting, responding irrationally, and have the tools to stop and return to sanity, I don’t always do it. It’s as though I haven’t totally committed myself to a spiritual path. And that’s not for lack of desire. I desperately want that peace of mind, that serenity, that quiet space again. But I’ve been holding back from facing everything. Continue reading →

Posted in Antidepressants, Emotional Sobriety, Expectation, Family, Holidays, Patience, Problem Solving, Service, Socializing, Suffering | Tagged attitude, change, family, fear, grief, love, mindfulness, pause, recovery, self pity, self-care, service | 2 Comments

Nutting Up

by admin Posted on September 16, 2012

I am in need of a major nutting up. Not the old-fashioned, pull Andrea up by her bootstraps crap– that’s ineffective and punishing– but nutting up as in saying so long to the what-ifs, opening my eyes, pulling my fingers from my ears, and working with what’s been right in front of me all along. Continue reading →

Posted in Emotional Sobriety, Expectation, Fear, Gratitude, Negativity, Problem Solving, Relapse, Self-Care, Spirituality | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attitude, change, fear, grateful, gratitude, love, positive thinking, recovery, self pity, self-care, self-talk, spirituality | Leave a comment

Addiction: The Disease that Hi(gh)jacks the Brain

by admin Posted on July 12, 2012

As I drove home from an early-morning meeting today, I realized something major. I was thinking about NOTHING. For those of you who haven’t had the exquisite pain and pleasure of experiencing addiction, this probably sounds quite silly. Or negative. For someone like me, with a diseased, addicted brain, it’s absolutely wonderful and miraculous. Continue reading →

Posted in Gratitude, Mental Illness, Mindfulness, Relapse, Self-Care, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, appreciation, attitude, change, chemical dependency, drinking, fun, grateful, gratitude, Higher power, joy, mindfulness, recovery, self-care, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

Detaching with Love

by admin Posted on February 27, 2012

I’ve had the opportunity to have many conversations about that alien creature– detachment– over the past few days. I believe that in their very nature, relationships between humans fall on some spectrum of attachment. But attachment can give way to pathology, codependence, and a whole host of gnarly harms… How and when does this happen? Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attachment, attitude, Buddhism, change, chemical dependency, detachment, family, fear, God, grateful, gratitude, Higher power, joy, loss, love, mindfulness, pain, recovery, relationships, self-care, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

My Own Personal Happiness Project

by admin Posted on February 7, 2012

I’ve been riding shotgun in the life car for the past few weeks. Looking to others and externalities to make me feel good, worthy, whole. Which just doesn’t work. Buddha knew it. Pema Chdron writes it. For years my therapist has been repeating to me that I bake my own cake–the rest is the icing. I haven’t been tending to my own cake. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Insomnia, Mindfulness, Openness, Self-Care, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attitude, change, chemical dependency, drinking, grateful, gratitude, Higher power, joy, love, mindfulness, pain, positive thinking, recovery, relationships, self-care, self-talk, service, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | 2 Comments