Tag Archives: pain

Too Much Loss

by admin Posted on May 16, 2013

If you’ve read my blog recently, you know I had to put my beloved Golden Retriever to sleep. She had been sick off and on for months. We tried medications, tests, etc. but when she was bleeding out of nose … Continue reading →

Posted in Family, Happiness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, breakup, change, chemical dependency, cirrhosis, drinking, family, God, grief, heart ache, Higher power, loss, love, negativity, pain, recovery, relationships, self medicating, self pity, service, sobriety, story | 2 Comments

“Circumstances Make Us Willing”

by admin Posted on May 15, 2013

My old sponsor and I used to meet for walk and talks. She had much wisdom to impart upon me. And for a time, I listened. And I was happy. Then I put on ear muffs and stopped hearing. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Gratitude, Happiness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, grief, negativity, pain, pause, recovery, relationships, self pity, sobriety, willingness | Leave a comment

Moving Out; Moving In; Moving On

by admin Posted on May 12, 2013

Yesterday was May 11. That is significant for two reasons: 1) It was my sober date; and 2) It was my relapse date. Last year, after three years of recovery, I relapsed. On my sober date. It was at a … Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Parties, Regret, Relapse, Self-Care, shame, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, change, chemical dependency, drinking, loss, love, negativity, pain, relationships, self medicating, self pity, self-care, self-talk, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse | 4 Comments

Cee Lo Green Said it Best… (Originally and Radio-Friendly)

by admin Posted on April 7, 2013

…when he said, F**k You. Or, Forget You. I prefer “F**k You.” I like saying f**k. F**k f**k f**kitty f**k f**k. I have never been good at forgetting anything (although I LOVE Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings’ Better Things). And finally, F**k You suits the tune better. While we are on suits, check out Cee Lo’s pink getup. Classic stuff… You likely can deduce that I am pissed. I am. I am pissed. Things suck right now. I say that without judgment. The most spiritual beings are allowed to be pissed and are expected to feel things suck from time to time. Continue reading →

Posted in Happiness, Honesty, My Story, Negativity, Regret, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering, Uncategorized | Tagged attitude, change, drinking, loss, love, negativity, pain, self medicating, self pity, self-talk, spirituality, willingness | Leave a comment

Progress, Not Perfect

by admin Posted on January 19, 2013

Typically I go to a meeting on Saturday morning. This morning I decided to stay home with my hot coffee and warm blanket. Now, I don’t want to admit this (because I can already hear the unspoken “I told you so”) but I should have gone to my meeting. If not for myself, for others. We depend on one another to show up and to be of service. This morning I was selfish.
Continue reading →

Posted in Complacency, Gratitude, Happiness, Honesty, Relapse, Self-Care, Service, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, chemical dependency, grateful, gratitude, joy, love, mindfulness, pain, recovery, self-care, sobriety, spirituality | Leave a comment

Finding Gratitude In Garbage

by admin Posted on August 13, 2012

While listening to others in recovery talk Friday night, I was reminded that I need to actively participate in creating joy in my life. That there will always be times that are less than. Less than fun. Less than ideal. Less than happy. And of course, less than perfect. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Fear, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, appreciation, change, chemical dependency, drinking, fear, fun, grateful, gratitude, joy, love, mindfulness, pain, recovery, self pity, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

Detaching with Love

by admin Posted on February 27, 2012

I’ve had the opportunity to have many conversations about that alien creature– detachment– over the past few days. I believe that in their very nature, relationships between humans fall on some spectrum of attachment. But attachment can give way to pathology, codependence, and a whole host of gnarly harms… How and when does this happen? Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attachment, attitude, Buddhism, change, chemical dependency, detachment, family, fear, God, grateful, gratitude, Higher power, joy, loss, love, mindfulness, pain, recovery, relationships, self-care, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | Leave a comment

Going All Jung on My Own Ass

by admin Posted on February 22, 2012

‘ve been chewing on some of Jung’s material for the past 24 hours. Specifically, his belief that we all go through a process he calls “individuation.” Individuation is, in my opinion, another way to talk about another process I spend a great deal of time pondering– integration. Jung believed that individuation is the path we all take to our own private, individual destinies; the journey through which we form as “whole selves;” a merging of the conscious and the unconscious. Continue reading →

Posted in Books, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Openness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attitude, change, drinking, emotional sobriety, family, fear, God, Higher power, joy, loss, love, mindfulness, negativity, pain, positive thinking, recovery, self pity, self-talk, sobriety, spirituality, story, substance abuse, willingness | 2 Comments

My Own Personal Happiness Project

by admin Posted on February 7, 2012

I’ve been riding shotgun in the life car for the past few weeks. Looking to others and externalities to make me feel good, worthy, whole. Which just doesn’t work. Buddha knew it. Pema Chdron writes it. For years my therapist has been repeating to me that I bake my own cake–the rest is the icing. I haven’t been tending to my own cake. Continue reading →

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Insomnia, Mindfulness, Openness, Self-Care, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, attitude, change, chemical dependency, drinking, grateful, gratitude, Higher power, joy, love, mindfulness, pain, positive thinking, recovery, relationships, self-care, self-talk, service, sobriety, spirituality, substance abuse, willingness | 2 Comments

Happiness and Complacency

by admin Posted on January 20, 2012

Complacency is the poison to my happiness. It is only when I am not complacent that I get to happy. But once I arrive in happy, I lean back into complacency. Then, like clockwork, I find myself disgruntled, pissy, selfish. Continue reading →

Posted in Antidepressants, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Fear, Fun, Help, My Story, Negativity, Relapse, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcoholism, antidepressants, attitude, change, chemical dependency, detox, drinking, fear, fun, God, grateful, gratitude, grief, Higher power, joy, love, negativity, pain, positive thinking, recovery, self medicating, self pity, self-care, self-talk, service, sobriety, spirituality, story, substance abuse, treatment | 2 Comments