Tag Archives: God

Too Much Loss

If you’ve read my blog recently, you know I had to put my beloved Golden Retriever to sleep. She had been sick off and on for months. We tried medications, tests, etc. but when she was bleeding out of nose … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Happiness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Man Did That Unpack My Shit

Yesterday I saw an alcoholic in his disease. Active. Drunk. Incoherent. Struggling to keep his eyes open. I also witnessed a pretty typical response from the community: fearful and laden with mean-spirited, judgey, inappropriate suppositions. Disheartening but also an important reminder of my own alcoholism. It takes me to dark, stinky, soulless places. Continue reading

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Detaching with Love

I’ve had the opportunity to have many conversations about that alien creature– detachment– over the past few days. I believe that in their very nature, relationships between humans fall on some spectrum of attachment. But attachment can give way to pathology, codependence, and a whole host of gnarly harms… How and when does this happen? Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Going All Jung on My Own Ass

‘ve been chewing on some of Jung’s material for the past 24 hours. Specifically, his belief that we all go through a process he calls “individuation.” Individuation is, in my opinion, another way to talk about another process I spend a great deal of time pondering– integration. Jung believed that individuation is the path we all take to our own private, individual destinies; the journey through which we form as “whole selves;” a merging of the conscious and the unconscious. Continue reading

Posted in Books, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Openness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Borrowing a Bit of the Honey Badger

Allow me to be more specific. And first, this requires of me a brief confession: I lied earlier this week. I’ve not been uninspired or unable to blog. Sure, I’ve had the sniffles and felt clogged and snotty, but not so terrible I can’t function. Truthfully, I have been dying to blog. But I felt as though I could not. You see, this past week, my blog became fodder for a certain person’s continual beat-down of someone I care about. A means by which to get to him, shame him. Continue reading

Posted in Antidepressants, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Gratitude, Help, Mental Illness, My Story, Negativity, Openness, Relationships, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happiness and Complacency

Complacency is the poison to my happiness. It is only when I am not complacent that I get to happy. But once I arrive in happy, I lean back into complacency. Then, like clockwork, I find myself disgruntled, pissy, selfish. Continue reading

Posted in Antidepressants, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Fear, Fun, Help, My Story, Negativity, Relapse, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Everything Dies, Baby, That’s a Fact

Each day we experience death and not just that big final shebang of DEATH. There are all sorts of deaths. Love–romantic, platonic, filial, familial– moves around. The nature of our friendships evolve. People stomp on our dreams. We complete a goal and are left with that odd emptiness that accompanies success. And so we barrel full speed ahead. New goals. New relationships. New jobs. We rush in to fill the void. Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Fear, Mindfulness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Taking Stock of 2011

2011 has been a remarkable year. I have stayed sober. At times by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin. I have worked an altogether imperfect, incomplete program in recovery. I’ve joined a wonderful family. I have taken some professional risks. I have begun to release my white-knuckle grip on old stories and let new narratives take root. Continue reading

Posted in Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Gratitude, Holidays, Regret, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It Gets Different

I’ve been a bit up and down this season. One of my best friends reminded me yesterday that a few weeks ago, I was spouting enthusiasm and good cheer. Then last week I was pissy and crabby. I’ve mellowed out a bit and now find myself somewhere in the middle. Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Family, Holidays, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Try a Little Gratitude

I am in trouble this morning. It’s not that I want a drink specifically. I am not fantasizing about one particular beverage or ritual. It’s more an all-around desire to escape. Disappear. To not feel anything. Now, this doesn’t happen to me all that often. Thank you, Universe! Yet when that gnarly voice does sneak up, it’s sudden. And it invokes a sensation akin to dropping a bench press weight on one’s chest: unavoidably distracting, awkward, and painful. Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Expectation, Family, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Openness, Regret, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments