Category Archives: Openness

That’s When He Will Start to Feel Better

When I first sobered up, I was told several things that I had a hard time grasping: 1) It will be okay. Everything will be okay; 2) Letting go makes everything easier; and 3) Service work helps. Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Mental Illness, Negativity, Openness, Relationships, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Going All Jung on My Own Ass

‘ve been chewing on some of Jung’s material for the past 24 hours. Specifically, his belief that we all go through a process he calls “individuation.” Individuation is, in my opinion, another way to talk about another process I spend a great deal of time pondering– integration. Jung believed that individuation is the path we all take to our own private, individual destinies; the journey through which we form as “whole selves;” a merging of the conscious and the unconscious. Continue reading

Posted in Books, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fear, Openness, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Own Personal Happiness Project

I’ve been riding shotgun in the life car for the past few weeks. Looking to others and externalities to make me feel good, worthy, whole. Which just doesn’t work. Buddha knew it. Pema Chdron writes it. For years my therapist has been repeating to me that I bake my own cake–the rest is the icing. I haven’t been tending to my own cake. Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Insomnia, Mindfulness, Openness, Self-Care, Socializing, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Borrowing a Bit of the Honey Badger

Allow me to be more specific. And first, this requires of me a brief confession: I lied earlier this week. I’ve not been uninspired or unable to blog. Sure, I’ve had the sniffles and felt clogged and snotty, but not so terrible I can’t function. Truthfully, I have been dying to blog. But I felt as though I could not. You see, this past week, my blog became fodder for a certain person’s continual beat-down of someone I care about. A means by which to get to him, shame him. Continue reading

Posted in Antidepressants, Conflict, Depression, Emotional Sobriety, Gratitude, Help, Mental Illness, My Story, Negativity, Openness, Relationships, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Good Feet

I awoke this morning with a start. Oh crap. I need to get out of bed. Shit. I really, really don’t want to deal. Then I laughed. I mean, what a terribly unhappy and counter-productive way to start the day! Continue reading

Posted in Emotional Sobriety, Family, Fun, Gratitude, Openness, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gray Matter

It took months, years, of recovery, therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy before I could begin withstanding the grayness in everything and everyone. I still struggle with it. It is far easier for me to dismiss people or places as being awful and unworthy than to acknowledge the humanity, the flaws in absolutely all that exists. Because to recognize others’ flaws is to concede to my own. Which can be ugly. Or enlightening. Depending on the life lens. I filtered everything through the ugly lens for 32 years. Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Emotional Sobriety, Expectation, Fun, Openness, Self-Care, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Try a Little Gratitude

I am in trouble this morning. It’s not that I want a drink specifically. I am not fantasizing about one particular beverage or ritual. It’s more an all-around desire to escape. Disappear. To not feel anything. Now, this doesn’t happen to me all that often. Thank you, Universe! Yet when that gnarly voice does sneak up, it’s sudden. And it invokes a sensation akin to dropping a bench press weight on one’s chest: unavoidably distracting, awkward, and painful. Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Conflict, Emotional Sobriety, Expectation, Family, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Openness, Regret, Relationships, Self-Care, Spirituality, Suffering | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

You Make Cakes; You Don’t Make Pizzas!

For 21 years I lived life pretty conventionally. To the outside observer that is. I was a good student. I played field hockey. I joined a youth symphony orchestra. I ate my peas and carrots. Then one month before my 22nd birthday, my father died. It rocked my world. The past 13 years have taken me some weird, frightening, exhilarating, trippy places and directions. Franky, I adore the idiosyncrasies of a life fully lived. Call it serendipity, chance, fate, luck, a higher power– that’s semantics– there has got to be something WAY bigger than puny ole me calling the shots. It’s the only satisfying explanation I have for being offered a new career opportunity. Continue reading

Posted in Gratitude, Openness, Regret, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Aren’t You Worried…?

I can’t recall if I’ve shared the latest regarding my educational/professional endeavors. In a nutshell, I am putting my thesis on the shelf (for the time being) and am searching for a real, grown-up, full-time job. Eek! An unnamed individual recently asked me something like the following: Aren’t you worried prospective employers will Google and Facebook you and find your blog?
Continue reading

Posted in Acceptance, Fear, Help, Openness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments