Category Archives: Mindfulness

Gratitude, On the Fly

As I rocked back and forth in a cozy, enveloping recliner this morning, surrounded by other alcoholics and addicts, I felt something that’s been missing — gratitude. It filled my mind, my heart, my soul, my body. It formed an impenetrable, pink bubble about me. I was enshrouded in love. Continue reading

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Finding Gratitude In Garbage

While listening to others in recovery talk Friday night, I was reminded that I need to actively participate in creating joy in my life. That there will always be times that are less than. Less than fun. Less than ideal. Less than happy. And of course, less than perfect. Continue reading

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Addiction: The Disease that Hi(gh)jacks the Brain

As I drove home from an early-morning meeting today, I realized something major. I was thinking about NOTHING. For those of you who haven’t had the exquisite pain and pleasure of experiencing addiction, this probably sounds quite silly. Or negative. For someone like me, with a diseased, addicted brain, it’s absolutely wonderful and miraculous. Continue reading

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Waiting Tables Reminds Me A Lot of Life

A few weeks ago, I left the coffee shop gig for a position serving at a local cafe. In many ways, a major quality of life improvement: better hours, higher pay, and a more diverse and challenging work experience. I continue to teach at a local University as well. I had grand plans of picking up my thesis, pounding it out by the end of summer. Now I recognize the craziness of that plan. As it is today, “just” working, I have little time for play. And that bums me out. Regardless, it’s not all for naught. I am always learning. Today has been a series of reflections on what I’m learning (or re-learning) about life, from waiting tables. Continue reading

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Temper, Temper

I am mad. Not pissy. Not grouchy. Not even crabby. Mad. Not mad as in mad about kittens. Or mad as in crazy (although I do dabble in that from time to time). No. I am raising my voice, shaking “fists of rage” (as my awesome sister would say) mad. Continue reading

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Detaching with Love

I’ve had the opportunity to have many conversations about that alien creature– detachment– over the past few days. I believe that in their very nature, relationships between humans fall on some spectrum of attachment. But attachment can give way to pathology, codependence, and a whole host of gnarly harms… How and when does this happen? Continue reading

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The Perfectionism Assumption

One assumption I carried around for years and must actively continue to challenge day in and day out is that I must be perfect. That only in perfection will I find happiness, love, and respect. What a damaging assumption! Yet it’s not unique. Lots of us, unconsciously perhaps, are programmed to understand imperfection as failure. Continue reading

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Other Stories

It’s a funny thing that happens… at least to me. When life is bumping along, kind of ordinarily-like, I feel less desire to write… What I am getting at is that I’d like to share the stories of others with you today. I am memoir junkie, a sucker for narratives around loss and salvation, a devotee to tales of recovery. All kinds of recovery, not just that of addicts and alcoholics. Continue reading

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My Own Personal Happiness Project

I’ve been riding shotgun in the life car for the past few weeks. Looking to others and externalities to make me feel good, worthy, whole. Which just doesn’t work. Buddha knew it. Pema Chdron writes it. For years my therapist has been repeating to me that I bake my own cake–the rest is the icing. I haven’t been tending to my own cake. Continue reading

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Everything Dies, Baby, That’s a Fact

Each day we experience death and not just that big final shebang of DEATH. There are all sorts of deaths. Love–romantic, platonic, filial, familial– moves around. The nature of our friendships evolve. People stomp on our dreams. We complete a goal and are left with that odd emptiness that accompanies success. And so we barrel full speed ahead. New goals. New relationships. New jobs. We rush in to fill the void. Continue reading

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