I’ve long thought that hand-in-hand with intelligence comes misery. I don’t mean that offensively, merely that with the greater propensity for retrospection and deep thought comes a greater propensity for unhappiness. I also have the experience to support that hand-in-hand … Continue reading
It’s recently come to my attention that I have gained, wait for it… forty pounds. I am around between 5’1″. A 40-pound weight gain for someone my size is alarming. It also prompted me to gasp words I last uttered upon sobering up: How the fuck did I get here? Continue reading
It’s a funny thing that happens… at least to me. When life is bumping along, kind of ordinarily-like, I feel less desire to write… What I am getting at is that I’d like to share the stories of others with you today. I am memoir junkie, a sucker for narratives around loss and salvation, a devotee to tales of recovery. All kinds of recovery, not just that of addicts and alcoholics. Continue reading
My inability to fall and stay asleep used to be anxiety-related. I believed alcohol helped me “unwind” and “relax” before bed. Some nights I was able to stick to two glasses of wine. Most nights, it was a bottle plus. I can’t even recall the number of times I passed out.
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There’s a certain craziness inherent to addiction. People in recovery refer to this as the insanity. The insanity is defined as “trying the same thing over and over (and over and over), expecting different results.” Only the results are the same. Sure, outcomes may vary in degree of trouble or fall differently on the spectrum of nuts but they are always qualitatively similar. Shitty. Shameful. Selfish. Dishonest. Continue reading
The other morning, I ripped a pair of jeans as I tried to squeeze into them. I scratched my head, contemplating, “How did this happen?” I realized I’ve been telling myself some pretty significant lies. Denial is a remarkable phenomenon. I’ve talked about this as it relates to my drinking but in this post I share with you my issues around food and body image. Continue reading