Probably the single best thing about being an alcoholic, for me, is getting to sit in a room with a bunch of people who are exactly like me. I share my crazies and I see multiple women nod in response. They get me; they are me. There is no shame, no stigma. I feel my blood pressure drop and my shoulders, neck, and face relax. I don’t have to be anything to anyone other than who I am. Continue reading
Category Archives: Antidepressants
I’ve been flirting with my “wise mind” for the last couple months. What I mean by that is that while I am usually aware that I am reacting, responding irrationally, and have the tools to stop and return to sanity, I don’t always do it. It’s as though I haven’t totally committed myself to a spiritual path. And that’s not for lack of desire. I desperately want that peace of mind, that serenity, that quiet space again. But I’ve been holding back from facing everything. Continue reading
Allow me to be more specific. And first, this requires of me a brief confession: I lied earlier this week. I’ve not been uninspired or unable to blog. Sure, I’ve had the sniffles and felt clogged and snotty, but not so terrible I can’t function. Truthfully, I have been dying to blog. But I felt as though I could not. You see, this past week, my blog became fodder for a certain person’s continual beat-down of someone I care about. A means by which to get to him, shame him. Continue reading
Complacency is the poison to my happiness. It is only when I am not complacent that I get to happy. But once I arrive in happy, I lean back into complacency. Then, like clockwork, I find myself disgruntled, pissy, selfish. Continue reading
My inability to fall and stay asleep used to be anxiety-related. I believed alcohol helped me “unwind” and “relax” before bed. Some nights I was able to stick to two glasses of wine. Most nights, it was a bottle plus. I can’t even recall the number of times I passed out.
My mom used to talk about “better living through chemistry,” i.e. the use of antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, mood stabilizers, etc. to help those afflicted with gnarly mental conditions. As someone who has battled depression and anxiety my whole life, I have to say that I agree. My life is better lived when the chemicals in my brain are properly balanced. Continue reading